Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
