I hate your face
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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