worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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