bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
