I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
