she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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