yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I would fuck him just for his dog
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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