why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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