I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
