Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
