i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
