My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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