there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
