I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
