The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
