He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
