He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
