I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
sex in a hospital.. check
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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