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this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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