I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
