I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
