I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
