apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
