my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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