Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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