youre lurking in front of me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
