6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
