I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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