I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
