How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
being pregnant is like rehab
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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