matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
