Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
