I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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