that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
