My sheets look like a crime scene.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
