i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My feet surprised me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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