I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize