i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
