He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize