The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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