I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
