yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
