There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
