Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
