literally had 100 drinks last night.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
