i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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