Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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