That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
