if you like me you must not know who I am
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
