Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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