Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I checked into jail on foursquare
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
