wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
