i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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