dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize