am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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