dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
