please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
